What can I say about the Cathedral? It is singularly overwhelming. The architecture, statuary, etc., etc., are more than I can absorb. I'm sure I'm not conscious of everything my eyes see. Some observations: confessionals with signs announcing the language spoken/understood within; all the side chapels are behind locked gates; despite all the grandeur, the pews are still the same plain, wooden benches we've seen everywhere else. Some highlights: descending into the crypt to kneel before the casket containing relics of St. James; ascending the High Altar;...
...touring the attached bishop's palace museum. Some things that disappoint me: I forget that I want to see the Porta Santa (Holy Gate) of the Cathedral, also known as El Perdón (the Door of Pardon); we don't have the opportunity to attend Mass here; and most of all, the Tree of Jesse is entirely inaccessible. I knew that it is no longer permissible to touch the central column like they do in the movie The Way, but now, with a railing all the way round the column...
...I can't do the other ritual either, head-butting the saint: touching your forehead to that of the saint whose kneeling figure is carved into the back of the column, facing the altar. All I can do is take photos of the column, the shiny spot worn into the marble by millions of hands...
...and the kneeling saint. Not even close to a consolation prize.
Back outside, we look down on the praza, taking in the surroundings, pilgrims lounging against their backpacks in the sun, and groups who appear to be meeting at this prearranged spot as they arrive from the Camino. I feel surprisingly detached, numb even. I suppose that, even though I didn't expect any great revelations or profound spiritual experiences, I believed having gone on this significant, challenging journey would have affected me in some way. Yet, standing among all the history, all the magnificence, aware of the joyous, celebratory atmosphere, I feel unchanged. I have no new insights to life or myself, no paradigm shift, no new awareness or growth. I wonder how anyone could live through the past six weeks and not be a different person. What does that say about me? It is a depressingly anticlimactic moment.
We descend and ask a passerby to take a photo of us together.
Then we drift through the streets. We pass two closed (of course) libraries; get excited upon finding an open church, only to discover it is a museum; browse through a couple of shops; and tour the Museo das Peregrinacións, pilgrimage through the ages.
We head generally toward the street leading back to the seminary while we look for a place to eat dinner. We have two criteria: food available now (we're too hungry to wait until 7:00) and WiFi. I want to at least send a short post saying we have made it and received our compostelas. We inquire at two or three places before we find a bar that has both. I'm lucky enough to even spot a table next to an outlet. The meal is very good but we have to laugh that I purposely order a small dinner (a wedge of tortilla) to save room for a piece of Santiago cake, but I am served a whole tortilla the size of a personal pizza. I don't quite finish it. Suspecting the portions of everything are large here, I order one piece of cake for me and Jerri to share. The serving that comes proves me right. Through the entire meal, though, I am unable to connect to the Internet. The man who serves us, who seems to be either the owner or manager, fiddles with the router a couple of times without success. I give up on it and settle for composing some drafts.
On our return to the seminary, we see evidence of roommates who are currently absent. After preparing for tomorrow and setting the alarm, we turn in for the night. Despite the void--or perhaps because of it?--I'm physically and emotionally wrung out. Sleep, I hope, will be a welcome escape.
Karen,
ReplyDeleteOne may not necessarily immediately feel a great change or a new comprehension or understanding at the end of an experience such as you have completed on the Camino. It is a part of your larger life journey though, and you can be sure that God will use it in ways you can't even imagine many times over in the months and likely years to come. Don't be disappointed that somehow you were supposed to have some great revelation... you are a different person and He knows it! :-)